The dream of the “family business” is something that millions share. The idea of building something with the one closest to you, like a spouse, can be enticing. Then again, myriad challenges come with the territory. Though you share the same goals, there can be frustrations that come with working alongside a spouse. If you are wondering how to work with your spouse in business, you aren’t the only one.
If you have been in this situation or currently are, then the subject rings true. Each situation has its own solutions, but each experience can be a lesson in navigating the truly unique circumstances that only a family business can provide. Learn more about managing roles, handling conflict, and keeping a healthy balance between work and home lives with these insights from the Housecall Pro community Facebook group.
The Challenge of Working with Your Spouse
“Has anyone had to fire their wife, and how long before she would talk to you or have date night again?” – Anonymous Housecall Pro Member
The dream of running a business is fairly commonplace, and why not? The idea of being able to call the shots, make the lion’s share of the money, and control the path of the business is tantalizing. What many don’t realize is that it comes with a litany of challenges as well. These are some of the most common challenges facing spouses in business.
Communication Issues
Just as in the case of marriage, one of the biggest issues plaguing spouses in business is poor communication. Though it sounds like a simple premise, it can be far too easy for one spouse to miscommunicate with the others. That leads to anger, frustration, and even greater challenges for the business.
No one is a mind-reader, so don’t ever assume that you are on the same page with anything. Bring even simple decisions to the forefront to be discussed unless otherwise specified. It might seem tedious at first but you will find quickly that it will mitigate potential issues.
Small Workspace
There are seemingly a million businesses that start in small spaces like a garage or home office. When wondering how to work with your spouse in business, one of the biggest challenges can be managing the space that you currently work in. Limiting overhead is important, but not at the expense of driving both of you nuts.
Maybe the initial accommodations made sense at the beginning, but growth of the business can foster a requirement for growth of the space as well. When that happens, you and your spouse need to sit down and discuss that need. Whether that be expanding to another room in your home or getting office space depends on the state and needs of the business.
Control Issues
When a business is just starting up, dividing up work can be a bit easier. Over time, however, you will notice that some of those areas of responsibility overlap. Depending on the personalities involved, that can begin to lead to control issues between spouses.
Approach matters, but it helps to take a step back and review responsibilities. Perhaps something that made sense being under the umbrella of one person is now better with the other. Recognizing where those instances of stepping on toes arise is often the first step toward eliminating those inefficiencies and challenges.
Different Expectations
From the time a business starts to its first beginnings of growth, interests can and will shift. During the start-up phase, it can be easy to set goals that you both have agreed upon. When the business begins to grow, however, those expectations can change. Sure, you work and live with your spouse, but it is all too easy to let expectations get away from you.
For that reason, it is a great idea to regularly schedule meetings and discuss long-term goals. Talk about what’s working and what might not be, otherwise, there will be tension. When expectations change and the driving factors behind efforts start to differ, it can lead to tension that becomes difficult to overcome.
Hilarious and Insightful Perspectives from the HCP Community
Learning how to work with your spouse in business doesn’t have to be all about the challenges. There are some lighthearted and outright funny situations that can provide tremendous insight as well.
The Lighter Side
“As Long as She Has a Company Credit Card, She’ll Be Fine” – Rob Jaber
Keeping the peace in a marriage can be difficult. When it comes down to business, doing so can make things even more complex and difficult to navigate. Whenever money is added to the mix, it tends to bring the worst out in people.
For that reason, it’s important to find the humor in situations like these. By keeping a lighter approach, the tension is reduced and there is less of a chance of a dispute. Battles can and will happen but keeping them just light enough can make all the difference in the world in both your business relationship and marriage.
Hard Lessons Learned
“It’s Very Difficult to Reprimand the Person You Sleep With” – Bob Hahn
Professionalism is seen as an ugly, unfun word to some but there is a need for it in the workplace. Without that professionalism, it is far too easy to let personal feelings get in the way. But how can that be when you have the most personal feelings, seeing as how you both have a lifelong commitment to one another?
It is critical to find steps to lessen the emotional impact of difficult circumstances. When emotions are heightened, it may be beneficial to go into separate rooms until level heads can be achieved. The last thing any business needs is to have a critical decision made in the middle of a highly emotional argument.
Making it Work
“We’ve Been in Business for 25 Years, and I Wouldn’t Have it Any Other Way” – Art Figueroa
It can be all too easy, especially with a marriage involved, to have the lines of work and business blurred. Without creating boundaries, some sort of separation between work life and personal life, the two become merged. That’s not a good thing.
The idea is to create a partnership where collaboration is encouraged. Both parties should feel comfortable sharing ideas, discussing differences, and finding a middle ground that is beneficial for not only each party but the business as a whole.
Dividing Roles
“We May Disagree, But We Understand That We Both Have the Same End Goal: For Our Business to be Successful.” – Ana Llely
The very best owners recognize not what they can do, but what they cannot do. They understand the importance of delegating, recognizing the strengths of each member of the team, and making sure that they are in the right role based on those skills.
Being too controlling and unwilling to relinquish responsibility is one of the great challenges of a business owner. When partnered up with a spouse, it is key to find roles that work not only for the business but each individual spouse. Having different roles means maximizing time spent and helping to reduce imbalance and stress.
Balancing Work and Home Life
Though there will be several tips on how to work with your spouse in business, it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right formula. Having said that, there is one aspect that is absolutely critical and that is the work/life balance. It isn’t just a buzzword, but rather a way of life that keeps business owners focused.
Creating that balance is a lot tougher than it may sound, however. In order to achieve a balance between work and home, certain steps need to be taken. In the end, it will not only be better for each spouse, their personal life, and their relationship, but the business as well.
How to Set Boundaries Between Work and Home Life
In order to foster a work/life balance, boundaries need to be created. Achieving that balance can look different based on the individuals and how they function as a couple, but here are a few general tips that can help you create the all-important boundaries between the office and home.
- Quitting time. Set clear working hours. If you plan to work until 5 PM, work until 5 PM. Far too often, business owners bring work home with them and it never stops.
- Scheduled date nights. If you are going to maintain a strong relationship, don’t stop dating. Take the time to enjoy one another’s company without any business talk plaguing that time.
- Plan vacation days. Contrary to popular belief, business owners can take days off. Schedule them in advance and make the most of them to recharge your batteries.
- Unplug. There are far too many business owners who may not physically be at their place of business but are constantly connected. When you are off, be unplugged. Stay away from calls or emails because that line between work and home will disappear.
Tips for Working with Your Spouse in Business
It doesn’t matter how experienced you are in running a service business. When you begin a business with a spouse, things change. The dynamic is different, interactions and communication are different, roles are different, etc. Finding a way to bolster that relationship will prove beneficial both to the business and beyond.
1.) Plan Ahead
The best businesses do their best to take out the uncertainty. Life is life and surprises will arise but having an effective business plan is a tremendous place to start. Look into the day-to-day life of running that business, what challenges arise, what contingencies can be taken, etc.
Though you may not be able to predict the future, having a plan can help mitigate quite a few things. Moreover, it will reduce the stress that unexpected situations can lead to, thereby reducing the personal stress felt. Planning ahead and having as many answers as possible can drastically help reduce tension and stress on the business and the marriage.
2.) Protect Family Finances
An all too familiar situation that small business owners find themselves in is mingling personal finances with those of the business. Especially in the start-up phase, it can be all too easy to bring all of your finances together into a single pool or account.
Cash flow problems happen within businesses all the time. By keeping family finances separate, there is some insulation should the business bottom out. The last thing anyone needs to happen is for their business to go under yet still be on the hook financially.
3.) Effective Communication
Communication is pivotal in any marriage. Transferring that idea into the world of business is as smart a move as it gets. Without discussing the business plan, the pros and cons of the business, ground rules, or challenges, there is no way for the business to succeed. More importantly, that friction will do untold damage to the marriage.
Communication may not always be simple or easy, but it is necessary. Even creating meeting times to discuss happenings in the business can ensure that there are no blind spots and that both parties are aware of what is happening within the business at all times.
4.) Play to One Another’s Strengths
Near the top of the list in terms of critical mistakes made by business owners is attempting to take on too much responsibility. While there is something to be said about doing the job yourself if you want it done right, we all have limitations. That is why it is critical to recognize the strengths of yourself and your spouse.
Each is to play a role in the success or downfall of the business. By recognizing one another’s strengths, it means that each person can be in the proper role. Playing to the strengths of your spouse means putting them in the most effective role possible.
5.) Trust Your Spouse
If you really want to know how to work with your spouse in business, narrow it down to a single word: trust. If you can’t trust them to take care of the responsibilities set before them, then the business – and probably the relationship – is never going to work.
The foundation of a successful marriage is trusting your spouse and supporting them in the decisions they make. Why should running a business be any different? Should they be making mistakes that are regularly costing the company, talk to them in private and always show trust and faith in them publicly.
Making It All Work Towards a Single Goal
At the end of the day, running a business is difficult yet rewarding when you and your spouse are working towards the sane goal. Keeping proper communication, planning things out, and having a strong work/life balance are but part of a larger puzzle. Do you run a business with your spouse? How has your situation developed and what keys do you use to navigate the tough times?
“I wouldn’t fire her because she holds our family together. Till death do you part means something.” – Anonymous Member
